Clowns in the Air-Airlines

Vasilika Vanya Marinkovic                                     READERS THEATER for teens

 

Characters-Narrator I / Narrator II / Joni / Ricky / Mr. Richter / Mrs. Richter / Bruschetta the Clown / Grubby the Clown / Annoyed Man

 

NARRATOR I

A new clown airline got broadcast all over the news. The name of this new airline was “Clown in the Air-Airlines!” Since this was the busiest travel season of the year June/July-heck, people in droves began to purchase tickets for Clowns in the Air-Airlines!

 

NARRATOR II

The Richter family sat back in their passenger seats on board the 747 Jumbo jet. Ricky Richter, 15 years old got ready to watch a movie he ordered, while mom and dad had coffee, as they were still trying to wake up. It was 7:30am and their flight was slated to take them to the Dominican Republic. Joni, the 13 year old daughter was already hungry and decided to tell her family all about it.

 

JONI

I’m hungry. Oh my gosh, I’m so hungry! Can’t we get this plane to go through a drive through to get some hamburgers?

 

RICKY

Stupid!

 

MRS. RICHTER

We had breakfast already! How can you be hungry so soon?

 

MR. RICHTER

Wait till lunch. I heard this Clown Airline has some amazing choices!

 

NARRATOR I

At 11:30am, Joni was the first to flag down Bruschetta the clown, who was busy collecting lunch orders.

 

JONI

What are the lunch choices? What are the choices? What are the choices? What are the choices?

 

RICKY

(Snorts like a pig)

 

MRS. RICHTER

Ricky, be nice to your sister.

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

(Very goofy sounding)

The lunch selections are, Chicken Marsala with Garlic, Garlic Chicken and Broccoli and last but not least, Ground Chicken Spaghetti with extra garlic!

 

RICKY

What you guys couldn’t afford steak and you’re a new airline!?

 

MR. RICHTER

Ricky, please behave yourself. All new businesses are slow to start. You don’t see me demanding lobster and caviar do you?

 

JONI

Um, can I get one of those meals without the garlic?

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

No, absolutely not.

 

JONI

Why not?

 

NARRATOR II

A big mean male clown strode up to the family. His name was Grubby. He was even frumpier looking then Bruschetta.

 

JONI

Why can’t I have one of those dishes without garlic? Why not?

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

Because you will be thrown off the airplane!

 

JONI

What?

 

RICKY

Yeah! Throw her off the plane!

 

MRS. RICHTER

You two, cut it out and order your meals!

 

JONI

(Pouting)

Okay, fine. I’ll have the ground chicken spaghetti with extra, extra, extra garlic!

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

Fine. That we can do.

 

NARRATOR I

In under a half an hour, the plane began to smell pleasantly of hot lunches and garlic specialties. People were being served.

 

MR. RICHTER

Ahh, I want some more coffee.

 

NARRATOR II

Bruschetta arrived to the Richter family with four steaming plates and two coffee cups for the parents.

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

Here you go sir. Your coffee has no coffee cream this time, but creamed garlic instead.

 

MR. RICHTER

What in blazes!

 

MRS. RICHTER

Please honey. Be open minded.

 

RICKY

Ha, ha Dad! Sop it up!

 

NARRATOR I

Grubby the clown strode up to the family and Bruschetta the clown once again.

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

If you don’t drink the garlic cream coffee, the Marshall will throw you off the plane.

 

MR. RICHTER

What? You can’t possibly throw any of us off the plane. We are fifty thousand feet up in the sky over the Atlantic Ocean!

 

NARRATOR II

Both clowns began to laugh goofily and wickedly at the same time.

 

BRUSCHETTA AND GRUBBY

(Laughing)

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

Try us!

 

NARRATOR I

The family shut up and took their lunches and drinks.

 

RICKY

There’s no freaking garlic in my soda is there?

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

No, but we could arrange it!

 

JONI

Yeah! Put garlic in his soda!

 

RICKY

I’m okay. Thank you.

 

NARRATOR II

In the next half hour, the plane began to smell more and more of garlic. Joni sniffed the air in disgust.

 

JONI

It reeks of garlic in here.

 

RICKY

Duh.

 

ANNOYED PASSENGER

Stewardess, can we crack a window? It reeks of garlic in here!

 

NARRATOR I

Said an annoyed passenger

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

No sir! That would be extremely dangerous!

 

ANNOYED PASSENGER

Yeah? So is throwing someone off the plane for not wanting to drink their garlic cappuccino!

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

Please be quiet sir. You’re alarming the passengers.

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

And I am a flight attendant, not a stewardess. You need to be politically correct.

 

JONI

No, you clowns need to be politically correct and not offer to throw us off the plane for not eating or drinking these stinky dishes and garlic coffees!

 

MRS. RICHTER

Joni! Don’t argue with the clowns!

 

NARRATOR II

That shut everyone up momentarily.

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

Here are some deserts folks.

 

NARRATOR I

Grubby and Bruschetta began to hand out slices of pie, cake and bowls of pudding.

 

RICKY

Eat Joni! Eat your garlic cake with garlic pudding. Now!

 

JONI

Gross-I won’t!

 

RICKY

You better!

 

ANNOYED PASSENGER

It stinks in here!

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

Quiet! Do not alarm the passengers.

 

MR. RICHTER

We’re already alarmed. And I’m hyper from this coffee and have stinky garlic breath!

 

MRS. RICHTER

I’m not kissing my husband. He’s disgusting!

 

WOMAN PASSENGER

I need the bathroom!

 

NARRATOR II

Yelled a woman.

 

ANNOYED MAN

There’s a line and I’m next!

 

GRUBBY THE CLOWN

Quiet!

 

RICKY

Joni, you stink!

 

JONI

You stink more! They won’t let us land, you stink so much!

 

BRUSCHETTA THE CLOWN

Marshall, arrest these people!

 

MR. RICHTER

Oh no, our vacation plans our ruined! And it’s all your faults, you stupid clowns! We’re all going to file a class action lawsuit against you, due to you guys forcing us to eat garlic dishes!

 

RICKY

Threatening to kick us of a plane at fifty thousand feet in the air!

 

ANNOYED MAN

Making us wait in long lines for the bathroom after having stinky garlic dishes!

 

MRS. RICHTER

And threatening to have the air Marshall arrest us all!

 

RICKY

And the worst thing about this all, you know the worst thing! I’m not allowed to try a garlictini yet, because I’m only 15, that’s outrageous!

 

MR. RICHTER

Son, give me that menu!

 

RICKY

Uh, I meant the garlic cappuccino! What the heck does it take for a fifteen year old boy to get a garlic cappuccino at fifty thousand feet up in the air!

 

THE END