Undertakers minions

Vasilika Vanya Marinkovic © Secret World Entertainment

NARRATOR

The sun was settling in its descent toward Helldom, bats threatened to come out and frighten the day birds. Four teenagers raked, collected dead flowers and performed other chores as a big and looming undertaker watched them closely.

JARRELL

Bruh, this is lame. Just because I was late to class two times this week, I’m having to volunteer cleaning up the dead people’s cemetery.

ALEX

Jarrell, stop complaining. And you can’t say it’s a dead people’s cemetery. That’s completely redundant!

JARRELL

Nah Bruh, it’s accurate.

SCOTT

Alex is finally right about something.

ALEX

Shut up fool!

SCOTT

You can’t say dead people’s cemetery because a cemetery is for the dead and it’s not a live people’s cemetery.

CLARISSA

Well technically, cemeteries are for living people, ha ha ha, so they can visit the dead.

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

((Sounds like a ghost!!!))

EVERYONE

((Screams and shouts))

UNDERTAKER

You shall not fear the dead. It is a natural part of life.

JARRELL

Oh no, we shall! There is nothing natural about dead people howling or making any sounds at all!

ALEX

Come on, one of you guys made the sound trying to scare us all. I want to get out of here on time to get to that big Halloween party.

SCOTT

I didn’t make any sound!

CLARISSA

Me neither.

UNDERTAKER

No one will be getting out on time if the work is not finished.

NARRATOR

And with that threat, the creepy big undertaker headed off toward the mausoleum.

SCOTT

Good riddance, weirdo.

CLARISSA

Well, I can’t believe I got roped into this just because I was texting in class too many times.

JARRELL

Aaah! Get your hands off me, what the heck?

NARRATOR

Jarrell flailed around fists smacking the air around him. Everyone looked at him weird.

ALEX

Bruh, no one was near you. Stop messing around.

JARRELL

Ain’t messing around fool. Someone or something grabbed the back of my neck!

CLARISSA

I’m getting freaked out guys. This is not funny.

SCOTT

Let’s just get everything done real quick. I want to make that Halloween party too.

NARRATOR

The teens began to work swiftly, as if their lives depended on it. The sun was coming down in a hurry, as if trying to entrap them in the cemetery forever.

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

((Sound like an owl)) Whoo whoo!

ALEX

Shut up owl, shut up owl!

CLARISSA

Alex, you can’t possibly be scared of an owl!

ALEX

I’m not scared. It’s interfering with my work.

JARRELL

Come on, really? You can’t work with a whoo! whoo! Ha ha ha!

SCOTT

Scared!

ALEX

Am not!

CLARISSA

You are too! Oh hey, there’s that West High school football guy Justin.

NARRATOR

Everyone looked down field about a hundred feet away, was a tall football player in his jersey.

CLARISSA

Thought this clean up duty was just for our high school, but we’re happy with the extra help-

EVERYBODY
Aah! Aah! Aaah! Aaah! Aah!

NARRATOR

Clarissa was completely bewildered as all three teen boys screamed, cowered, or tried to make a run for it. In fact, Alex ran right into a tomb and fell to his rear, still screaming and shouting.

CLARISSA

Shut up, shut up! You guys stop this! Why are you horsing around like this, did you guys and Justin have this all planned out to scare me? Stupid!

JARRELL

Oh my god, he’s gone! Where’d he go?

ALEX

Aah! Oh crap, oh hell no!

NARRATOR

The three teen boys went into another round of yelling and cowering behind headstones. The grim undertaker emerged from the mausoleum and slowly approached, murderously angry at the commotion.

CLARISSA

Oh, now look what you’ve done! The undertaker is pissed off at us. And where did that Justin guy go? He’s not here anymore. So, you were playing a joke on me!

EVERYBODY

Aah! Aah!

JARRELL

Oh my god, help!

ALEX

It was his ghost!

CLARISSA

What?

ALEX

He’s dead girl.

UNDERTAKER

Quiet kids! Get back to work or I’ll keep you here till the witching hour!

SCOTT

You can’t do that!

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

Meow! Meow!

CLARISSA

Oh my god, it’s a black cat. There’s a witch nearby!

JARRELL

Seriously, the girl that’s not afraid of a dead guy is scared of a cat!

CLARISSA

What dead guy are you talking about?

UNDERTAKER

I said quiet, or I’ll keep you here till the break of dawn!

NARRATOR

Everybody fell silent, as they continued to work. Nobody wanted to miss the Halloween party.

CLARISSA

(Whispering) What are you guys talking about, dead guy? And where did that football guy go?

ALEX

Girl stop!

SCOTT

Clarissa was on a nice summer vacation with her family, fell out of the loop.

JARRELL

Summer vacation must be nice. But wasn’t nice for Justin. Girl, he died in a drunk driving accident.

CLARISSA

No! No way, you guys are joking with me. Stop it!

ALEX

We aren’t messing with you Clarissa. He left a party late one night and his vehicle got struck by a drunk driver.

CLARISSA

Oh my god, that is so terrible. Poor Justin. Why didn’t I hear about this?

NARRATOR

The mood got a bit somber as they tried to finish up their work.

JARRELL

Don’t get behind the wheel if you’re under the influence of alcohol or any drug.

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

(The black cat the kids saw earlier speaks to them.) Besides the fact that you kids are under twenty-one and all. Meow, meow.

EVERYBODY

Aah! Aah! Aaah! Oh my God!

SCOTT

Talking cat, talking cat! Help!

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

(Witches laugh) Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!

MONSTER

Roar! You’re never gonna get out of this cemetery alive! I’ve got you now!

CAT

Meow! Meow! Hiss! Hiss!

OWL

Woo! Woo!

NARRATOR

Clarissa threw down her rake, sank down to the ground and began to cry. Then, like it was contagious, Jarrell began to cry too.

ALEX

Jarrell, are you crying?

JARRELL

Real men cry fool.

CLARISSA

That’s right and real women cry too.

SCOTT

And I’m gonna throw up.

EVERYBODY

Shut up Scott!

UNDERTAKER

Yes, shut up.

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

((CAT)) Meow.

CLARISSA

Someone should adopt this cat.

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

((Witch)) Oh no you shan’t! She is mine! Hee, hee, hee, hee!

EVERYBODY

Aah! Aah! Help! Oh my God!

JARRELL

This cemetery is evil and haunted. We have to get out of here!

NARRATOR

The crack of thunder hit hard, and a cold downpour of rain hit the teens, undertaker and the cat, who jumped down from the headstone it’d been perched on and made way for the mausoleum.

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

((Hungry zombies sounds)) We’re hungry for human! We’re coming to get you. We’re hungry for humans, Yum, yum, yum!

EVERYBODY

Aah! Aaah! Aah!

UNDERTAKER

Follow the witches’ cat to the mausoleum. We shall take cover, now!

ALEX

Do what he says. These are my good clothes!

NARRATOR

The teens and undertaker hurried for the mausoleum, through the rain and crackle of thunder.

JARRELL

You wore your good clothes to do labor work?

ALEX

Hey, I was going straight to the Halloween party after this!

JARRELL

You ain’t going to no party.

SCOTT

More like a haunted nightmare!

NARRATOR

The teens all scramble into the dark mausoleum.

CLARISSA

This mausoleum is scary and smells nasty.

UNDERTAKER

That’s because the dead have laid here for hundreds of years!

JARRELL

Oh mama, get me out of here, get me out of here!

NARRATOR

Very dark and creepy in the mausoleum, Alex suddenly ran into a huge spider web.

ALEX

Oh yuck! I’m covered in a huge spider web! Gross, these are my good clothes!

JARRELL

No, they were your good clothes, ha ha ha!

ALEX

Shut up Bruh!

NARRATOR

The teens keep going further into the mausoleum and scary Halloween music is on and becomes louder.

SCOTT

It’s getting darker and darker in here.

CLARISSA

How big is this mausoleum? Is that Halloween music?

NARRATOR

Suddenly, there is creepy glow in the dark clowns lit up everywhere on the mausoleum walls.  

EVERYBODY

Let’s get out of here, aah!

SCOTT

I’m turning around!

NARRATOR

Suddenly, there is a loud thud and Scott the one who’d been currently heading up the rear is down, apparently having hit the stone wall of the mausoleum. Their entrance behind them is completely  gone.

JARRELL

Oh, hell no! We are in the Twilight Zone!

CLARISSA

Aah!

ALEX

Here girl, I got you.

SCOTT

Really? Don’t fall for it Clarissa.

CLARISSA

We gotta get out of here!

NARRATOR

Clarissa starts running in the only direction possible, opposite how they came in, passed all the crazy clowns that are all laughing at the teens now.

JARRELL

Hey, where’d the crazy undertaker go?

ALEX

Who cares? Run faster! Let’s get out of here!

NARRATOR

The teens pick up the pace when suddenly Scott slams into Alex almost knocking him over.

ALEX

Oh my God! Oh my god! Run, run, run!

NARRATOR

Yells and shouts as the group sees that miraculously, nightmarishly, a pack of blood thirsty zombies have materialized behind them, coming after them fast. The teens run for their lives.

CLARISSA

I wish they would have let us have our cell phones while working here tonight, cause I would have been filming and posting all this to social media and suing this cemetery!

JARRELL

Girl! Stop being petty. Our lives are at stake!

NARRATOR

After a couple minutes of running and panting, the teens see that the zombies have seemingly vanished. But the group has now stumbled upon a bloody axe scene.

ALEX

Oh! I can’t take the sight of blood!

SCOTT

Even fake blood?

NARRATOR

Jarrell touches some splattered blood, then brings his fingers up to his nose.

JARRELL

It’s real. I can smell the metallic scent coming from the iron. Aah! Aah! Aah!

EVERYBODY

Aah! Let’s get out of here! Help!

NARRATOR

The teens run fast further and further down this never-ending mausoleum tunnel. And it gets darker and darker. And now they can’t see at all.

CLARISSA

Oh no!

SCOTT

I’m afraid of the dark.

NARRATOR

But suddenly, faint music is heard onward in the direction they’ve been going. And the music is up tempo. It’s rap music.

ALEX

Follow the music guys!

CLARISSA

You mean crawl toward it. I can’t see.

JARRELL

Hang onto me Clarissa.

SCOTT

I’ll help her.

JARRELL

A person scared of the dark steering another person who’s scared of the dark.

CLARISSA

Guys, the music’s getting louder! That’s TGIF by GloRilla that’s playing!

NARRATOR

The dark fell away, and the teens inched forward more and more confidently. Soon, they could hear voices, sounded like a party and the music got louder.

DEJANET

Finally. The cool kids are in the house! Get yourselves some punch, get dancing and where the heck are your Halloween costumes? Where’s your Halloween spirit?

JARRELL

I think we’ve had enough Halloween spirit to last a lifetime! What the heck is going on?

NARRATOR

The four teens are at the big Halloween party, no mausoleum tunnel behind them at all.

ALEX

Oh my god, this is not happening!

JARRELL

It did happen. We’re in the Twilight zone.

SCOTT

What is this Twilight Zone you keep talking about Jarrell?

JARRELL

A really old TV show, but it got redone recently by Jordan Peele. Good show. The old one was good too.

DEJANET

You guys are tripping.

NARRATOR

Clarissa runs up to the three teen boys. They hadn’t even noticed she’d left them momentarily.

CLARISSA

Scott, Jarrell, your cars are in the parking lot! And Dejanet said we’ve been here for an hour! Oh my God, it’s an alternate reality!

SCARY SOUNDS PERSON

((Same cat from cemetery)) Meow. Meow.

EVERYBODY

Aah!

DEJANET

Do not tell me you guys are actually scared of cats. Please! By the way, this is Danforth, the new student. He’s starting school with us on Monday. I invited him to meet everyone.

NARRATOR

The group of cemetery traumatized teens look in horror at this new student. He looks exactly like the undertaker, but twenty years younger.

DEJANET

What’s wrong with you guys? You act like you’ve just seen the devil. Don’t be rude, say hi to him and get partying.

ALEX

Nice to meet you Danforth. Next time we’re on clean up duty at the cemetery, I hope you’ll be with us.

NARRATOR

The young Undertaker lookalike gives them a really weird intense stare, then walks off. The four teens shiver involuntarily.

SCOTT

Looks like we’ve been followed out of this nightmare.

JARRELL

Indeed. Well, let’s just realize we’ve been in an alternate reality or the Twilight Zone and try to have some fun. Sound good?

EVERYONE

Yep!

NARRATOR

A new song starts playing. It’s “Hanumankind” by Big Dawgs. Everybody starts dancing and singing to it.

THE END